The Out-of-Office Haiku (and other email-based rhymes)

For several years I have created poems whenever I have an Out-of-Office replying to my emails.  The first one ever was a haiku. It went like this:

Out Of Office Haiku – February 2009

Emails.  Sit in my
inbox festering while I
sip cocktails abroad.

Replies will be sent
February Twenty Three
Please, friends wait till then

Then I decided to do a few more over the years:

Out of Office Haiku – Easter 2009

Emails.  Sit in my
inbox unanswered while I
enjoy Easter eggs.

Replies will be sent
April 19th.  Sorry for

Out of Office Haiku – October 2010

Laura is away
On her half-term holiday
Will reply next week.

An emergency?
Call mobile number below
Otherwise please wait

Last summer I turned it up a notch and tried a limerick format, sort of:

Out Of Office Limerick – Summer 2011

Hot dogs, burgers, and fries
As I travel under US skies
But no email for me
While on this big spree
In the meantime you must improvise

I’m back on August Sixteen
And will reply like a replying-machine
If an emergency though
Text number below
Otherwise, patience is serene

But my most favourite invention is this one. I use it a surprising amount:

Haiku for a Missing Attachment

This is the email that says
Attachment attached

Feel free to steal and use, or let me know if you have any weird sign-offs. I’m in need of new inspiration.